Where to Go from Here?

Over the past couple of months i've struggled with where i'm headed from here. When I left my job to have my second child, I thought i'd love staying at home with my kids! I would get to see all the things I missed while working, I wouldn't feel guilty for leaving them every morning, We would spend our day playing games and making crafts . . . right? Lord how I wish I knew what would happen after a couple months of staying home! I started slowly slipping into a depression. Thankfully I was able to get a seasonal job in January preparing taxes until April. But now it's been four months unemployed and i'm finding myself slipping on that slippery slope again! I ask myself, "Why can't you be happy at home? There are women who would love to stay home but financially are unable!" Well, i'm sorry for those women but I truly don't think it's in my makeup to be so idle! Although my house is cleaner than it has ever been before! I've prayed and prayed about this, thinking God just tell me! Give me a sign! Anything!! Somewhere in my mind I think, "Are you truly listening to God? Or are you just pretending because you want to figure it out yourself?" To be honest i'm not really sure! I do know this, I plan to find out! Who knows where i'll end up and what i'll be doing, but I do believe having a happy mom is better for my kids than spending the day with a depressed mom! So say a prayer for me and go do something that makes your day a bit brighter and show your kids a happy mom!